(Heaven): There was surprise and indignation around the world today when God admitted that the constant stream of sunshine on a Monday morning was a planned attempt at punishing mankind.
"Seriously, you guys just twist my beard the wrong way," said the deity when interviewed on God.TV.
"Wars, homophobia, abuse, a lack of caring for the environment... I gotta find SOME way to stop you people being so stupid."
For many years weather related punishments have been rife with wet bank holiday mondays widely seen as a sign of God's displeasure at the continued popularity of The Krankies.
Now this new scheme looks so effective it will become a year-long scheme with days specially made longer during Winter just to torment people with bright sunny Mondays.
However, the news wasn't all bad.
"I've given you guys a break with no rain through Wimbledon," admitted God.
"But that's largely because I can't stand the thought of Cliff Richard singing again either..."
NO not cliff again !!!!!
2008-06-30 @ 12:06