(London): What onlookers are describing as "A shocking portent of Armageddon" has prompted scientific, political and religious minds all over the country of England to suggest we may be seeing the end of civilisation as we know it.

The drama began at 0824 on the morning of Saturday the 19th of July when Mr Bertram Coppleton of Many-Winding-On-The-Wold, Dorset exited his front door and was taken aback by a bizarre collection of natural phenomena, the like of which hasn't been seen since records began.

"I just went out to get the milk, my usual Saturday morning routine," said Mr Coppleton, 42, who runs the Ladies Beard Waxing Parlour in the village.

"There, staring at me was the most shocking sight I'd ever seen, something I'd have to attribute to the work of Beelzebub himself."

Mr Coppleton conacted the police who, equally baffled, brought in some of the finest minds in the country today.

Despite spending hours exploring the signs a conclusion has yet to be arrived at, although the man put in charge of the think-tank, Dr Jeremy Dullswick, a Professor of Cheese at Norfolk University, has been left in no doubt of what he believes is Götterdämmerung.

"We really can't find any logical reason for these unique happenings except as portents of the end," admitted Dr Dullswick.

"A flaming ball of gas in a blue sky and a light much brighter than normally seen in this country, it's shockingly unscientific..."

The confusion has simply been added to after the group contacted a brains trust in the South of France who seemed extraordinarily disinterested by the findings.

"We were taken aback," said a taken aback Dr Dullswick.

"It was like they see this kind of thing all the time..."

Experiments are continuing.

(Wimbledon, London): The Lawn Tennis Association today revealed their entry qualifications for next year's tournament with a Wimbledon official promising it will help make Wimbledon 2009 a bigger and better spectacle for supporters.

"These rules have been debated long and hard in the Wimbledon boardroom," said tournament spokesperson Murray McRacket.

"This will smooth over the faults we've seen for the last few years in the tournament and make it much more interesting."

The new rules are as follows:

1) Automatic entry will be given to any player in the top 40 in the world, as long as they meet the requirements set out in appendix 1.

2) Remaining places will be handed out to players dependant on world ranking and previous Wimbledon performance, subject to the player meeting the requirements set out in appendix 1.

3) Any player can, at the tournament organiser's discretion, be awarded a bye into any round the organiser's feel is worthy of their placing.

4) All matches will be decided across three sets for women's singles and five sets for men's singles, followed by a public phone vote and a round with the clapometer in the court. The votes will be run according to the rules set out in appendix 2.

5) The organiser's decision is final, the winning of a match does not necessarily grant the victor a game in the next round.

Appendix 1 - Player eligibility.

All players must fulfil one of two qualifications.

1) Be British.

or

2) Have never played tennis before.

Appendix 2 - voting rules.

All public phone votes will have the numbers printed clearly on the screen along with the disclaimer "Please do not vote for Andy Murray's opponent as your vote will not be counted but you may still be charged.

Despite the new regulations William Hill, BetFair and Ladbrokes all have Andy Murray at 5,000,000-1 to win Wimbledon in the next ten years.