(London): What onlookers are describing as "A shocking portent of Armageddon" has prompted scientific, political and religious minds all over the country of England to suggest we may be seeing the end of civilisation as we know it.
The drama began at 0824 on the morning of Saturday the 19th of July when Mr Bertram Coppleton of Many-Winding-On-The-Wold, Dorset exited his front door and was taken aback by a bizarre collection of natural phenomena, the like of which hasn't been seen since records began.
"I just went out to get the milk, my usual Saturday morning routine," said Mr Coppleton, 42, who runs the Ladies Beard Waxing Parlour in the village.
"There, staring at me was the most shocking sight I'd ever seen, something I'd have to attribute to the work of Beelzebub himself."
Mr Coppleton conacted the police who, equally baffled, brought in some of the finest minds in the country today.
Despite spending hours exploring the signs a conclusion has yet to be arrived at, although the man put in charge of the think-tank, Dr Jeremy Dullswick, a Professor of Cheese at Norfolk University, has been left in no doubt of what he believes is Götterdämmerung.
"We really can't find any logical reason for these unique happenings except as portents of the end," admitted Dr Dullswick.
"A flaming ball of gas in a blue sky and a light much brighter than normally seen in this country, it's shockingly unscientific..."
The confusion has simply been added to after the group contacted a brains trust in the South of France who seemed extraordinarily disinterested by the findings.
"We were taken aback," said a taken aback Dr Dullswick.
"It was like they see this kind of thing all the time..."
Experiments are continuing.
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2008-07-19 @ 11:42