(London): In response to the revelations about Labour's smear emails the Tories have opened files of their own secret email conversations that they say prove what wonderful people they really are.

"It's despicable that the Labour Party are besmirching our good name in this way," Said Tory spokesperson Jesus Angelicus.

"This is especially hurtful as we were currently secretly releasing what we call our 'shine campaign' emails to the new WhiteFlag blog..."

The Tory emails describe Alistair Darling as 'A top bloke with great financial sense', Gordon Brown's marriage as 'a moralistic coupling that's an inspiration to the whole country' and Jacquie Smith's recent new haircut as 'simply fabulous and it takes 10 years from her'.

These conversations have been described by the Conservatives as proof that they, rather than the Labour Party, should be in charge.

"As much as we think the whole of Labour are lovely people," said Angelicus. "we really would quite like a chance to be in charge as we are ever so nice."

The spokesman then gave all the reporters a bun and a pamphlet for the new Conservative Party, "the only choice for any pleasant people in the country."